Before turning in...

Music: ya-ya, Play list 170206
Mood: Sleepy but can’t sleep

Just finished a cup of hot chocolate with rum. Hope I can fall asleep soon.

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Watched TV; there was a documentary about Keith Moon. Gee, he lived his life very, very fast! I think his 32 years would count as my 80 years or something… Actually I wish I could live my life like he did his… Oh, but I do wonder if it was the way he had wanted.

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Bought a jar of roasted red peppers. I really could not open it. After my hopeless attempt (for more than 15 minutes), I went to my neighbours to ask if they could help me with the jar. They had such a handy tool!! The jar was open in less than 1 sec. Hmmmm…

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It’s Wednesday tomorrow (today already!) – my weekly deadline!! Pfpfpfpfpfpf… Alright, I’m off for a few hour nap.

Spring has come, yes it has!

Happy Spring to everyone!

Music: Play list 170206 – at this very moment: “Tell Me Something Good”/Maceo Parker
Mood: relaxed
In my glass: Spanish Cabernet Sauvignon-Tempranillo Reserva

I know this song, “Tell Me Something Good”, actually from Rufus with Ms. Chaka Kahn. I used to watch the TV show “Soultrain” when I was a teenager. The show was on air very late in the evening, I think it was on Tuesday eves. It was like on one Tuesday “Midnight Special”, on the next Tuesday “Soultrain”. I remember Bee Gees was once the host on “Midnight Special” and Miss Skeeter Davis sang “End of the World”. I’ve always been a late night owl, that’s for sure.

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There was a girl in my Dutch class, an American girl. She had a Dutch boyfriend, had an opportunity to come to NL (and to be with him) to learn Dutch. We did a lot together, like going sightseeing, holding a party… I liked her a lot. Eventually she went back to the States and we lost contact. When I had my first internet access, I looked for her on “4eleven” (or something like that…) and yes, I found her!! But then, we again lost contact… it happens often I think. I recently got to know that you could do people search on Google… and I thought: “hey…”. Yesterday, finally, I typed her name.. and guess what happened! I found an article about her and… found her too!! I’m so glad to have found her again.
I don’t write letters or e-mails very often, but I think I’ll try from now on just to say hello to my friends from time to time…

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Spring has come, yes it sure has!! OK, at this moment, it’s rainy… but it’s much warmer than a few days ago. Yeah, it’s about time…

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I feel relaxed.. very relaxed.. perhaps TOO relaxed. I’d better not be too relaxed because I could be very lazy too. I actually like being juuuuuuust a little bit tense, worried, uncertain,…not much but juuuuuuuust a little bit. Hmmm, I guess I need some tingling now… some stimulus… spice in my life… Butterflies, maybe?

"...Woke up this morning..."

Music: Play list 170206
Mood: …it was better yesterday
In my glass: La Ferme de Gicon (Côtes du Rhône) 2004

“Woke up this morning…(da-da-da-da-dan…) , with the blues in my head... (da-da-da-da-dan…)”

Yeah, woke up this morning with my R.O. complex again, that “I’m too accommodating/I’m too easy” complex. And it stayed for the rest of the day… GRRRRRR. I mean, not that I’ve been down with the thought that I’m hopeless. No, no, not that! I started to recall all the times that I didn’t agree with him but he wouldn’t hear or listen. GRRRRRR…. Will I ever get rid of this complex??

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…And if there was such a thing that I couldn’t handle on a day like this, it should be a telephone call from my mother. Yes, she called. I know I’m often too hard on her, especially since my last call on (belated) Mother’s day last year. She said then something very nasty (not about the late call though) and I really didn’t like it. I told her, as I was hanging up, that I wouldn’t call again. Well, I was not very fair to her, I admit, because I didn’t tell her what I didn’t like – she’s not aware of what she’s saying, of course.

We just can’t get along with each other. We never could. I love her, of course I do! But that’s not the point. Today she told me AGAIN that she was expecting me to come home. AARRRGGGHH!! She’s so protective… no, more possessive actually than protective, it’s like “mother-baby” possessiveness. I do know and understand how hard it was for her to raise me (I’m not going to go into the details here) and now to let me go (well, I’ve been away for more than 20 years now… isn’t it about time for her to…???). But it doesn’t mean that I can stay with her for my life! I was hoping that she’d see that one day.
Hm, I had promised the last time when she called, to send her some pics of me… I’ll (try to) make an album coming weekend…

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I have gained my weight… It’s only 1kg/2 full pounds, but still I feel it. When I walk up and down the stairs, I feel it. When I go on bike, I feel it. It’s like carrying 1kg potatoes extra on my body. I’ve been eating just so much as always (that is actually TOO MUCH!) while doing (using calories) much less. It’s been very cold so Fox doesn’t want to walk a lot, me either. As it’s almost impossible for me to eat less, I should do more to burn the excess energy. So – it was a very nice day today… I decided to work on my garden. Oh-oh, it is so wild, so neglected. I wonder which plants have survived the winter and my neglect. I saw chives were doing alright! Yay! Ok, tomorrow again, if only for a couple of hours.

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hm… happy news, happy news… I can’t think of any… Oh, wait! I can now start counting down for take off to Seattle!! Hehehe, how about that?!

...And the night goes on...

Music: Play list 170206, 5 songs added.
Mood: Still ok, though a bit restless

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The play list 170206 (Lyn. Skyn., Thunder, OL, Tish, Damn Yankees, AC/DC, M. Parker etc.) keeps growing; at the moment I have more than 470 minutes music only with this list. The 5 songs which have been added recently, are M.’s (3 of them are his original, I think, 1 of them is not his song but his fave, but anyway…). Thanks a lot, M.! :)

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Went to see a movie “Dreaming by numbers” on Wednesday with V. It’s a documentary about a very special lotto and those people who come to the lotto shop very often. They buy lotto cards with numbers according to the dream they had the night before. First I was not sure if the film was non-fiction or fiction as the story seemed to me so… “dreamy” and fantastic. I liked the film a lot, very well done in b/w, the music was very nice, too.

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I wish I had money. Not just a little bit but a huge amount of money, like 80 million euros (is it something like 100 million dollars, or a bit less?). With that money, I could have bought a small village in Tuscany this week; it was for sale and put up for auction in London. The present owner asked 40 million pounds (about 62 million euros) for it. There are in the village: 34 empty houses (in very bad condition), one church, 15 farmhouses, vineyards and olive orchards. There is no electricity, no gas and no telephone connection. The new owner ought to organize the Church Festival every year.

I thought: if I had 80 million euros, I’d buy the village for 62 million and keep 18 million to rebuild the village and for me to live on for the rest of my life (… hope it’s enough). The Church Festival sounds fun; with nice music, food, wine, flea market…

80 million… I’d need to win at least 10 big, major lotteries, I think. Or the last “PowerBall” lottery! Has the winner picked up his/her prize money yet?

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“You’d better be strong than hard.” Yes, that’s exactly I’m trying to be: strong. To be strong, I’d better be flexible, soft and tender as well. Being only hard, I might get crushed into a thousand pieces in one clap. I’d rather be soft enough to be able to absorb the shock, to bend with the blow, to finally come back and recover from the hard luck.

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I have pain in my back and neck since yesterday and it’s getting worse. I think I should go back to my own bed tonight.

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It’s going to be the second coldest (or so) March in almost 20 years. Although it’s clear and sunny, the temperature stays low. It’s still freezing, when on bike it feels like -10. The paper says that it will be a bit warmer next week. Well, I hope so because it’s then officially spring too.

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I came across my ex. In-law at the supermarket; I heard someone say “Well, look who’s here! Hello!” She was standing right behind me at the cashier. She said she had to look again if it was me because she wasn’t sure… “You look very different from the last time I saw you.” Well, I have perhaps now a little longer hair but that’s all, I think. Hm… ok, 6 months older, yes, that’s it. :(

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The Night Goes On
(Shaw Blades)

Did you ever hear the whisper
Of the night as it rolls in
Distant as the moon
And yet it gets beneath your skin

Gets around the promises of no never again
Suddenly it takes the shape
Of an old familiar friend
And oh the night goes on

You reach for your last cigarette
And yeah you ought to quit
You ought to do a lot of things
But sometimes you forget
And still the night is calling
So you take a drive around
And over that horizon is an old familiar town
And oh the night goes on

Oh the night goes on
Ooh ooh the night goes on

When old voices dance through your head
Where you could run from the things that they said
And how could you say let ’em go walk away
Oh no not today
You never run away when you can stay and fight today

And oh the night goes on
Oh the night goes on
Oh the night goes on
Oh the night goes on

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(written by Tommy Shaw & Jack Blades)

Waiting...

Music: Various
Mood: OK but sleepy.


There were several things I thought I’d better remember to write about… but of course, I forgot them.

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Read in the paper: U2 Sunday services
There were special “U2 services” (this link is in Dutch) in church yesterday. The vicar played some U2 songs (very loud) and explained the lyrics. The Vicar said in an interview with the paper: “It’s a great band with good music, and the lyrics are sometimes taken directly from the bible. The members are very religious.” He also told that he had actually wanted to become a DJ or a musician (he plays drums) but to become a vicar was his final choice. Nice vicar!
According to the paper today, the services were a big success.

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I sometimes look through the personal ads in the paper on Saturday, you know, the “wants to meet” ads. Not that I want to meet; I’m just curious what and how people tell about themselves. 99.9% of them, both men and women, is “attractive”, “intelligent”, “nice”, “understanding”, “young-looking” (when he or she is over 50), “good looking”, “with great sense of humour”… and so on.
I would think like: “what are you doing here then?” Well, a while ago there were many ads of “young people” like 20-something. Then I used to say to the ads: “GO OUT!” Nowadays, those “youngsters” have disappeared from the paper… I guess they are now on internet, huh.

Well, ok, I admit… there are rare moments that I read the ads for my own interest…

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I’m waiting – waiting for the “future” to come, not for the “past.” It may sound strange, “waiting for the past”, but that was what I was thinking this morning while fixing my breakfast.

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I did bookkeeping this weekend… OMG, OMG, OMG… I have no money! I hate administration work so I’m often very late with making invoices… means it’s my own fault. Hmmmmm…..

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K. and H. from Japan stayed at my place last week. It was only for one night as they had a very tight schedule this time. Because they were with two and I’m alone, I gave them my bedroom and I slept in the much smaller spare room. A week later, I’m still sleeping in the spare room in the folding bed. I kinda like it, I think I’ll stay there for a few more nights.

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Happy news:
Fox is getting better. At least, I haven’t seen blood in his pee for 4 days now. Perhaps he peed the last stone out… I don’t know but it IS possible…it’s my guess.

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I feel fine… I still have same problems as before; there’s nothing really changed… but I feel fine. I don’t know how it comes. I’m not really sensitive to seasons so it’s not because the spring is near…
But anyway, it is nice to see the new greens and flowers growing again.

Parallel worlds

Music: “Stiff Upper Lip”/AC/DC , “The Hours Between Night & Day”/O.L., “Behind Closed Doors”/Thunder
Mood: Tired but fine

Bought a book, “Parallel worlds” by Michio Kaku… I was at the book shop to see if they had books on PhotoShop. It’s a big place and I didn’t know where to look, so I first went downstairs where all those “special”, “scientific”, “study” books are. And there – somehow this book caught my eyes… and I bought it just like that. Hmmm, I haven’t started reading it yet (I still have a Harry Potter to finish!) but I know now already that I won’t understand a thing. Stupid me; I don’t know why I have bought it. :/
Oh, btw, I couldn’t find any book on PhotoShop; there were only books on versions 7.0 and higher. I have only 6.0.

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Had a haircut at Roy’s. It’s not exactly how I wanted this time.. but, ok, I’ll see.

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Saw A, B and F., good friends of mine, very interesting people. I always get inspired by them. It’s a year of big changes and new challenges for them – and for me too… I think.

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Today it was something like: 15 minutes Sun, 10 minutes snow, 20 minutes Sun, 20 minutes snow.... and again shine then again snow... At the moment, it’s all white and very quiet outside.

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Oh, I don’t have any happy story today.. um… well, I’m still feeling fine, and I count that as a happy story then. I bought wine, olives and chocolate at the big Hema in downtown :)))))