Day off… well, sort of

Music: Playlist 300308 (variation) - right now “Back Street Symphony”/Thunder
Mood: empty
In my glass: French red


Took a day off from photography (study).
It’s just too much for me right now. Although I should be out there to take some assignment pics, I decided to take it easy for just one day. Tomorrow again a heavy day… and the day after tomorrow.. and the coming 2 weeks non-stop.

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I’m not crazy enough to stalk him. And I’m not stupid enough to believe it was all real and true. I wish I were.
…Well, it WAS, yes, all real and true in a way. But …not in the way I want it to be.

Everything I do - I do just to be noticed by him… though I know he never will.
Sad, isn’t it.

Well, ….photography is one of them.
But in this case it’s ok.. I still like it anyway.


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Hah! ....Then Ottmar plays "Surrender 2 Love"! ..... I mean.... :(

Books

Music: Playlist 300308 (another variation) – right now “Devil Woman”/Red Devils
Mood: …trying to relax…without success
In my glass: Herbal tea (called “balance”)

Bought 2 books – my first photography books! I think I have enough cookbooks now, so I’m going to start collecting some other kind of books ;)
Those books are normally very, very expensive. These 2 are… well, I’d say, “friendlily priced” :) although I’ll have to “pass” 5 bottles coming weeks :(
Had also a short but nice talk with the girl at the check-out about the books.

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Picked up my assignment photos at Hema photocorner. Oy! Something went wrong with colours of a couple of photos… again! Grrrr…….#%@&*^!!!

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Hmmmm I think I’ll go to bed early… much earlier than usual… Got to get up early tomorrow… much, much earlier than usual

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Music now playing: “Monkey See, Monkey Do”/Thunder

Today…

Music: variation of Playlist 300308 , right now: “Bad Habit”/Farrenheit
Mood: unstable
In my glass: Peppermint tea at this right moment. I’ll have a glass of red later.. I think.

Things go wrong... very wrong. Or, if it’s me, I must be doing something wrong… but then, what exactly am I doing wrong??

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Last night.. ah, no, the night before, it was very cold, I felt very cold. I was tired and wasn’t feeling very well. I thought I might be ill and have a fever. Gees, I couldn’t believe what I saw! 35.7! I mean, I normally have a low body temperature, lower than the average – like, 36.2 or anyway over 36. Ah, ok… must be that annoying dysautonomia!

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Wish he was here and said: “Oh, come on, it’s gonna be alright”…. And then he’d ask: “Did you drive or fly?”
Hahahaha….. LOL!
I’m not only unstable but also very incoherent tonight.

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The song now playing:
“Come Again”/Damn Yankees

Can’t sleep

Music: Playlist “Homework for S.” (Thunder songs), right now “She’s So Fine”
Mood: desperate
In my glass: Desperados with lime (well, not in my glass but in its own bottle)

…I can’t sleep… it must be my “dysautonomia” again, I think. I had some “dizzy moments” today, too. It’s sometimes scary when it happens.. but then, I just think, “ah, ok, will be over in a moment”.
Dysautonomia strikes when I’m tired, worried, stressed, down…. or actually any time.

Oh, but I haven’t been to a doctor about that… so how do I know it’s dysautonomia? Oh well, never mind. When those things occur to me, I just “need” the cause. I can blame it all on this disorder. It’s kinda handy.
LOL

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Made a new playlist. It’s actually for S., “Homework for S.” (concept list) – it’s something like… “Thunder for beginners”.
Hahaha, I talked her around to go to a Thunder concert with me. And I thought she’d have more fun if she knew some of their songs. LOL!
Well, I’m not sure about the concert but she will enjoy the weekend anyway ;)

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Pffff.. I think I really should stop now and go – try – to sleep (hoping to see my Prince on his white horse in my dream). I have a busy day tomorrow.

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Song now playing: “Flawed to Perfection”/Thunder

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Music: Playlist 300308 (variation No.?) – right now “Rendezvous 6.02”/UK
Mood: mixed
In my glass: just had beer, perhaps have another one.


Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:))))))))))))))
For “++”

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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=0
For “the window”

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:’(
For “the Impossible World”

Pffffff……

Music: playlist 300308 (now it’s very different from the original list as I added/deleted so many songs), right now “Love Walked In”/Thunder
Mood: “pffffffffff”
In my glass: French red

I often wonder “why”, “what for” and “who cares”...
…Well,.. I really don’t know what for.
He’ll never know… He wouldn’t know how hard I’m trying. But ok, it’s logic and natural. I mean, how should he know??? There’s no way he should/would/whatever know.

But, about “who cares”… yes, right… I do. That’s the most important point, yes. But still…it’s just… hard and impossible.
:(