Thursday

Music: Playlist L, right now “Change”/RK

Mood:  :)

In my glass: herbal tea (but soon to open... Merlot or Zin?)

On Thursday I’m, oh, so tired and so so empty - physically and mentally - after my weekly deadline on Wednesday.  But today I’m feeling much better than on other Thursdays of, er.. let me think, past a couple of years.  I am tired, yes, and empty, too.  But somehow...  I’m smiling, for instance :)  and thinking: “what shall I do tomorrow?”   Hm, well, I do have things to do... work to do... those things I actually wish I would not have to do.  On Thursday, normally, it would really annoy me and make me feel down and depressed to think about all those to-dos on the next day.  But not today.  Somehow.  I don’t care how or why.  It is just how it is today.

:)

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Suddenly - many things are happening/changing.  Very fast, too.  Ooh, hold on tight, Kymdot!  It feels like fast-forwarding a video tape (...or DVD... whatever).  As if I’m catching up fifteen years in one month (or even one short week!).

And that’s scary.  But I’m not scared ;)

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Finished reading a book a few days ago.  Now I’m re-reading it.  

“De Creatiespiraal: Natuurlijke weg van wens naar werkelijkheid“

(The Spiral of Creation: the natural path from wish to reality)

I had forgotten about the book for years and only a couple of weeks ago, I started to read it again from where I left.  When I tried to read it for the first time - yes, years ago - I didn’t see the point and/so I wasn’t very enthusiastic.  This time - it’s like... “Oh yeah!”.

"Wishes are the intuitions of what you are capable of realizing."
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

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Closer Than Close

"I just wanna get closer than close to you

I know that one way or the other

Any test of my faith will do

I give my heart for you to break..."

(from "Closer Than Close" by Bee Gees)

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Music now playing: “Rattle And Burn”/Jesse Cook (Playlist P3)

In my glass: Merlot

Where there’s a will, ....

Music: Playlist “P3”, right now playing “Fooled Again”/RK

Mood: Upwards

In my glass: Nero d’Avola

I made a list of my plans... or wishes.. or dreams....  whatever.  It does help, indeed, to write down all those vague ideas and thoughts.  I’m now one step ahead.  Or, it feels like I’m now one step - a tiny little baby step - closer to my goal ;)

It’s a “new me”.  Open to possibilities.  

I used to say: “No, it’s too hard.  It’s impossible.  I just can’t make it”.

Now I (try to) say: “OK, it’s hard but how and why?  What’s the problem?  How can I fix it?  What can I do to make it happen?    How do I get there?  

I know, of course, that I can’t rule the world.  

But the thing is...

“It's no dream unless you leave it only in the mind.“ 

Thank you, M. & R. for the good vibes!

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.

Hm... It’s going to be a long and rocky way.  But-but-but... let me try and see how close I can get to my goal.  

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My goal:  

Honestly, I don’t know what my “goal” is.  I only have this “to do/wish” list.  

Oh well, ...

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There are more “new mes”.  But that’s for another time.

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Music now playing: “A Song For You”/Leon Russell

Guilty

Music: Playlist “P3”, right now playing “Querido Amigo”/Jesse Cook

Mood: ...er.....  ......

In my glass: green tea.  Cabernet Shiraz is about to be poured :)

Wondering... what I might have done wrong.  This time I have no clue.  No use of wondering right now.

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Having been in hospital for about 6 weeks, Mom’s coming home Friday.  That’s such good news and she’s happy :)  

Hm...  we’d better (try our best to) avoid another “cold war” :s

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Walked a lot today.

It was a cold but very nice day - clear blue sky and lots of sunshine.  

Strange that I haven’t taken any pics.

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Kind of homesick.  ...But to where?

“Home is where the heart is”....

All I can “imagine” now is the empty house.

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A. asked the other day about my plans.  

I have plans... still vague plans but I do.   And I have wishes. 

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.

...Really?

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Ordered new glasses.  I used to wear glasses a long long time ago.  I remember the colours were so different with them on, so clear and vivid. 

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Guilty. I’m guilty as charged.

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Guilty 

(Billie Holiday)

Is it a sin, is it a crime
Loving you dear like I do
If it's a crime then I'm guilty
Guilty of loving you
Maybe I'm wrong dreaming of you
Dreaming the lonely night through
If it's a crime then I'm guilty
Guilty of dreaming of you

What can I do?
What can I say?
After I've taken the blame
You say you're through
You'll go your way
But I'll always feel just the same
Maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong
Loving you dear like I do
If it's a crime then I'm guilty
Guilty of loving you

What can I do?
What can I say?
After I've taken the blame
You say you're through
You'll go your way
But I'll always feel just the same
Maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong
Loving you dear like I do
If it's a crime then I'm guilty
Guilty of loving you

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lyrics by Gus Kahn

music by Harry Akst & Richard A. Whiting

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Tune now playing: “Don’t Wait” (from “After Midnight”) by J.J. Cale