Messages

Music: Playlist 300308 – CD “Got Blues!” added today. Now playing: “Welcome to the Party”/Thunder
Mood: self-destructive
In my glass: Zin

I see hints and hidden messages telling me to stay away. I mean, I think they are. It makes me feel down – down and down, blue and blue. S says I’m thinking too much. Maybe yes, maybe not. In any case, I say “OK, so what?” I’ll stay away anyway because there’s no way for me to get closer. And if they (those hints and messages) are just my imagination, that doesn’t change the situation. Perhaps it’s my own self that telling me to stay away.

One thing is clear. I must not think too much. When I’m thinking too much, I start picking my hair – like now - and it hurts.

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I made a photo album for my mother last week. Photos of me and my gang.
The last time we talked on the phone, it ended up with her crying (well, sort of). OK, I know of course how she feels and that she’s worrying about me. But her worrying, I think, is mostly because she has no idea how and what I’m doing. It is, I admit, a survival every day and I’d rather have it in other way. But I’m sure I’m better off here (even though alone) than there. So, I added some other photos than me and the gang as well (like some food photos, school assignment etc) to the album so she could see my daily life.
She called today that the album had arrived. She sounded very excited; she had to tell me what she thought of each and every photo. Funny because… she liked some “unexpected” photos very much. Hah, alright, she’s my mother, full of surprises ;)

Anyways, I promised to make another one… but don’t know when.

OK. She’s happy and I’m glad she’s happy.

Ah, btw, she even asked if I wanted a new camera. Ooh-hoo… I should have answered: “Yes-yes-yes-yes!!! D700!”

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Since the flu, I have a headache very often. It’s not too heavy.. but quite a nuisance.

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Gonna Write Him A Letter
(Susan Tedeschi)

I’m gonna write him a letter, gonna write him a song
Gonna love my baby, gonna never do him wrong
Gonna love my baby, gonna ease his troubled mind
I’m gonna love that man until the end of time

I said now if the end of time should come today
I said there’s just no way that I can stay away
Cause he’s my baby, wanna ease his troubled mind
I’m gonna love that man until the sun don’t shine

I said now if that sun should refuse to shine
I’m gonna find my baby cause he’s mine all mine
I’m gonna find my baby, gonna ease his troubled mind
I’m gonna fine that man cause he’s mine all mine

Now just the other day I heard somebody say that my man
Was running around with another woman
Now this better not be true because if it is
It’s not gonna be a good thing
He’s gonna have to run and I’m gonna tell you right now
What I’m gonna do with that man, I’ll tell you right now

I said now if that man should run he better hide
I’m gonna find that man, I’m gonna take him for a ride
I’m gonna find my baby, gonna give that man a troubled mind
I’m gonna find that man and he won’t get away alive
I’m gonna find that man and he won’t get away alive

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(written by Susan Tedeschi)