Home is where...
Music: “Sweet Surrender”, “Diamonds & Stones” by John Denver (thanx, Victor, I like both of them!)
Mood: I don't know/What the future is holdin' in store/I don't know where I'm goin' I'm not sure where I've been (from “Sweet Surrender”)
*there’s a similar phrase in “Crystal Ball” by Tommy Shaw
Note: this post partly overlaps with my comment on Borya’s blog.
To commemorate the 60th year of Auschwitz’s liberation, more than 102 thousand names of the Dutch Jews and gypsies who were killed during WOII and have no graves, were read out. It started on the night of 22nd in Amsterdam, went on without interval, ended just before noon of 27th in the commemoration center in Westerbork, where there was a camp during the war. Dutch Jews were deported from here to concentration camps like Auschwitz.
The Dutch had “another” WOII – in the Far East. There it was the Japanese who were evil. Today there are still many issues to be solved between the 2 countries (well, better say, Japan and other countries in the area). Some of the Dutch are really “anti-Japan” and I as a Japanese have had a few very unpleasant experiences since I came here. I understand their feelings, of course, and I can’t make any excuses. I just hope that we all learn from the past, and try to make a better future.
There’s more. Besides the war history in the Far East, whale hunting is another reason of Japan’s bad reputation here. When talking about the war or whale hunting (or other negative issues about Japan), it makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s because of the facts, of course. But also, those are the moments when my feeling of “homelessness” arises. I come from Japan; I was born there and grew up too. But I don’t feel myself 100% Japanese anymore. Am I Dutch, then? Officially I’m not. Living legally here, I’m a Dutch citizen with a foreign nationality. Do I feel myself Dutch? Hmmmmmm, mostly yes – but not always. Especially when people, even those who I know for a long time, address me as a Japanese, I lose orientation and begin to wonder where I am. They don’t mean anything with that, I think, and I can’t deny that I have other background and habits and things.
Hm, okay, I’m thinking too much again, perhaps.
Kym.
Mood: I don't know/What the future is holdin' in store/I don't know where I'm goin' I'm not sure where I've been (from “Sweet Surrender”)
*there’s a similar phrase in “Crystal Ball” by Tommy Shaw
Note: this post partly overlaps with my comment on Borya’s blog.
To commemorate the 60th year of Auschwitz’s liberation, more than 102 thousand names of the Dutch Jews and gypsies who were killed during WOII and have no graves, were read out. It started on the night of 22nd in Amsterdam, went on without interval, ended just before noon of 27th in the commemoration center in Westerbork, where there was a camp during the war. Dutch Jews were deported from here to concentration camps like Auschwitz.
The Dutch had “another” WOII – in the Far East. There it was the Japanese who were evil. Today there are still many issues to be solved between the 2 countries (well, better say, Japan and other countries in the area). Some of the Dutch are really “anti-Japan” and I as a Japanese have had a few very unpleasant experiences since I came here. I understand their feelings, of course, and I can’t make any excuses. I just hope that we all learn from the past, and try to make a better future.
There’s more. Besides the war history in the Far East, whale hunting is another reason of Japan’s bad reputation here. When talking about the war or whale hunting (or other negative issues about Japan), it makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s because of the facts, of course. But also, those are the moments when my feeling of “homelessness” arises. I come from Japan; I was born there and grew up too. But I don’t feel myself 100% Japanese anymore. Am I Dutch, then? Officially I’m not. Living legally here, I’m a Dutch citizen with a foreign nationality. Do I feel myself Dutch? Hmmmmmm, mostly yes – but not always. Especially when people, even those who I know for a long time, address me as a Japanese, I lose orientation and begin to wonder where I am. They don’t mean anything with that, I think, and I can’t deny that I have other background and habits and things.
Hm, okay, I’m thinking too much again, perhaps.
Kym.
posted by Kym. @ 1/31/2005 03:55:00 AM
3 Comments:
At February 2, 2005 at 4:40:00 AM GMT+1,
Kym. said…
弓子さん
コメント、ありがとう。
Thank you for your comment. I’ve been thinking… You’re right, Yumiko-san, I’m very fortunate. I can make my own living, and most of all, I’m very lucky to have good friends and neighbours around. I DO like it here. Now that I’m getting really “independent”, it’s sometimes much harder to get things done than before. But alright, I’m not the only one, I know. I mean, there are a lot of ex-pats who are doing their best to be a part of the community, even the Dutch have to struggle sometimes to get along. Actually I should see my origin as an advantage.
One of my fave songs: Home is where the heart is. My heart is here now, I guess.
At February 3, 2005 at 9:46:00 AM GMT+1,
Anonymous said…
Hi Kym,
Those were wise words that Yumiko said about expanding your identity. When you say that friends 'address me as Japanese' do you mean they do so in a negative way? Because it could also be that they're merely curious about the part of your life they don't know all that much about. To learn about and from you. And that's a positive thing, isn't it?
Rens (in a philosophical morning mood)
At February 4, 2005 at 3:02:00 AM GMT+1,
Kym. said…
Thank you very much, Rens and Yumiko.
I see sometimes ex-pats who are only complaining that they can’t get used it here and that people are not kind. Then I always say: people are like you are. If you are open, so they are. Hm, seems like I forgot this motto of my own for a moment.
Oh, but please don’t misunderstand. I’m not complaining or something… I still have some problems with myself now and then.
Blogging is, btw, a much better and cheaper therapy than seeing a shrink!
Kym.
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