Joyful

Music: Various albums at random order
Mood: ummm - mixed

OK, folks… as you see, I’m back home, safe and sound. Oh, first I’d like to thank you for your warm and kind wishes for my birthday last month. There was no possibility to check my e-mail box at that time, so I saw your comments much later… thanks again.

I know, you all are so anxious to know how it was (I mean, about my stay in B.C.), right? Um… do you want to hear good news or bad news first? ;)

It was great, just great! I had such a wonderful time there, I will never forget those 2 weeks I spent there with him. I’m now uploading the photos to Flickr to share my holiday with you.
But-uh… here comes the bad news.. I mean, bad news for me…. The dreams is over now, it ended. ...SAD, isn't it... :( As soon as I came home, I felt there was something wrong and.. then he finally let me know that he’s not feeling the same as I am. I’d rather have heard it from him in person when I was there instead of through an email… but, ok…

I’m beaten, hurt, bleeding, feeling blue and down, I cried and cried… but am not so depressed or feeling sad as I once was. You’d think it’s because it was a long distance relationship of only for a short while. But, no, I don’t think so. It WAS, yes, only for a short period, but it was very intense (it was to me, anyway). Luckily and thankfully, I didn’t suffer too long.. it was – let’s say – a quick death ;) - the last time I was suffering for years… Besides, I’m changed too… I’m happier with myself than I was a few years ago, which makes a big difference, I guess. As you might know, I learned a lot during this past year, mostly about my-own-self. So, the most important thing is that I still have myself – and of course, my great friends – to lean on if I need to. Only, I will be more careful and cautious next time - IF there is a next time (honestly, I’ve seen enough!)

It’s very strange… usually I can easily find a song or two that tells (almost) exactly how I feel… but no, not this time.. not now.

Ah, I haven’t mentioned yet… Wendy was kind enough to volunteer to show me around. Thanks a lot, Wendy! I enjoyed the hiking so much (although I couldn’t keep up with you..), and also nice strolling in downtown. Aaaaand… the pie was really awesome!

Wendy said she had a present for me… a card. She said I could draw a card, which will tell something about me. OK… so, I picked one…
It says:

JOYFUL
I dance in the happiness and joy of life, free from fear and worries.

If this is my quality, I’ll be alright. I’m not dancing at this moment, but I sure keep this in my mind :) Thank you, Wendy!

Joyful


P.S.
I'm feeling calm and strong now but am not sure if I'm feeling the same tomorrow.. :\