Place to call my own
Music: "7 Deadly Zens"/Tommy Shaw, "Don't Tread"/Damn Yankees, "This Is Where I Came In"/Bee Gees
Mood: mixed
…A city like Utrecht… Yes, I like this place; it’s an old, small, beautiful town. I especially love the old quarters – canals, churches, museums, cafés… Hmm, I’ve been living here for 23 years now. But it could have been any other place, like London, Paris, Düsseldorf, Rome, Beijing, Moscow, LA, NY, Tokyo, Osaka …or even Ouagadougou. I didn’t come to Utrecht, the Netherlands, because I liked the place, but because he was here. It was more likely that I came here than he’d come to Japan. Some people can adjust themselves easier than the others; I happen to be able to adjust and squeeze myself into almost any place. Having been living so long, I now, of course, have my base here; my house, work, friends… But nothing I’d really stay for – the most important thing I have here is friends, but they are and stay my friends wherever I am. Besides, I’d make more friends if I moved to somewhere else.
If I’d pack and move to somewhere else tomorrow, it would not really be “an unexpected move”. People who know me, would just say: Ah, that’s Kiyomi!. Yes, I would do that if I knew for sure that it’s what I’d want. …If I knew for sure that someone there was waiting for me.
---------------------------
A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN
(from “7 Deadly Zens/Tommy Shaw)
Hold the lamplight to the night
See the empty streets
Rolling out of sight
Turn a deaf ear to the din
Ignore the hunger pangs
Bundle up against the wind
Still I believe
Someone waits for me
A place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
A future built on stone
A place to call my own
And once there was a time
I had no fear at all
None that I recall
No future there to taunt
No history to haunt me
No monsters in the wall
Still I believe
Someone waits for me
Oh, a place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
Wood and bricks and stone
Oh, a place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
A future built on stone
A place to call my own
(written by Tommy Shaw)
Mood: mixed
…A city like Utrecht… Yes, I like this place; it’s an old, small, beautiful town. I especially love the old quarters – canals, churches, museums, cafés… Hmm, I’ve been living here for 23 years now. But it could have been any other place, like London, Paris, Düsseldorf, Rome, Beijing, Moscow, LA, NY, Tokyo, Osaka …or even Ouagadougou. I didn’t come to Utrecht, the Netherlands, because I liked the place, but because he was here. It was more likely that I came here than he’d come to Japan. Some people can adjust themselves easier than the others; I happen to be able to adjust and squeeze myself into almost any place. Having been living so long, I now, of course, have my base here; my house, work, friends… But nothing I’d really stay for – the most important thing I have here is friends, but they are and stay my friends wherever I am. Besides, I’d make more friends if I moved to somewhere else.
If I’d pack and move to somewhere else tomorrow, it would not really be “an unexpected move”. People who know me, would just say: Ah, that’s Kiyomi!. Yes, I would do that if I knew for sure that it’s what I’d want. …If I knew for sure that someone there was waiting for me.
---------------------------
A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN
(from “7 Deadly Zens/Tommy Shaw)
Hold the lamplight to the night
See the empty streets
Rolling out of sight
Turn a deaf ear to the din
Ignore the hunger pangs
Bundle up against the wind
Still I believe
Someone waits for me
A place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
A future built on stone
A place to call my own
And once there was a time
I had no fear at all
None that I recall
No future there to taunt
No history to haunt me
No monsters in the wall
Still I believe
Someone waits for me
Oh, a place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
Wood and bricks and stone
Oh, a place to call my own
Somewhere to be from
A shelter from the storm
Where I’ll be safe and warm
A future built on stone
A place to call my own
(written by Tommy Shaw)
11 Comments:
At July 12, 2005 at 1:48:00 PM GMT+2, Just Me said…
ah, kym. i am where i am because of a "him" as well (although we're still together) but i would get up and move in a heartbeat...even without someone waiting for me. it's the age-old problem: you need to complete yourself without someone else & then the someone else is just a bonus! easier said than done.
~heather~
At July 12, 2005 at 4:25:00 PM GMT+2, Kym. said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At July 12, 2005 at 4:36:00 PM GMT+2, Kym. said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At July 12, 2005 at 4:38:00 PM GMT+2, Kym. said…
Heather,
thank you for your comment.
Hm… I know what you mean about “to complete yourself without someone else”. That’s what I have learned, and what I’m now trying to. … and yes, easier said than done ;).
As I said, I don’t have anything here to stay for… but I wouldn’t leave my life here for nothing. It wasn’t easy for me to get settled here, both practically and emotionally. But I didn’t mind because I had my reasons. And finally, I like it here now. If I were at least 15 years younger… ok, then I might have tried again, then this time not because of somebody… but just because I wanted to… I’d build up my own life all by myself from scratch, and then enjoy it – well, uh, this is for me easier said than done, too…
Don’t know.. it’s just this “home” thing. I want to be home, and I don’t feel home alone. It’s not about a concrete place, but - again - where my heart is...
Kym.
P.S.
I had to remove my whole comment because I had to add ONE word... :( ..an "Edit" function would be very handy for this blog...
At July 12, 2005 at 8:54:00 PM GMT+2, Just Me said…
i know...that edit thing is my only pet peeve about blogger.
At July 13, 2005 at 4:13:00 AM GMT+2, Luz said…
I always wondered how you ended up in Ultrecht. Home is where you're heart is. Being 45 single, and never married life one can get tired of seeing their own shadow. I have my career and I have my friends and finding love would be grand but my life is complete. However, it would be nice to find someone to complement my life and return the favor to him as well. That's my two cents for whatever it's worth.
At July 13, 2005 at 2:59:00 PM GMT+2, Just Me said…
bravo, luz! so glad to hear it.
~heather~
At July 14, 2005 at 2:36:00 AM GMT+2, Adam Solomon said…
Oh? NY? I'm waiting.....:P
At July 15, 2005 at 3:06:00 AM GMT+2, Kym. said…
Luz,
So that was how ;)
Lucky you! Glad your life is complete, I really mean it. I wish I could say that too, about myself. I had been together with one person for a half of my life, and this “togetherness” has grown deep into my body and heart and soul – everywhere. In the end, it was like a wisdom tooth. It started to ache so bad that I had to have it pulled out. …yes, it was me who asked him to leave (I said: “if you think you will leave sooner or later, do it now”, and he did). Now the tooth is pulled out, I’ve got this big empty hole, bleeding in my gum, my whole face is swollen up and I have this pain that keeps me from sleeping. I do know my own flesh will grow to fill this hole and heal the wound. But I’m not there yet. I AM learning, though, that my life and joy and happiness and sadness and all the other stuff are not (well, should not be) depending on somebody or something else. But, alas, knowing/understanding it and practicing it are 2 different things. This “togetherness” still means much more than a bonus to me. That is the “being home”, the place where my heart is, feeling to me. For a moment, I thought I had found it again…and it’s now gone. There are, at this moment, too many pieces missing to complete the puzzle of my life.
Well, ok, like I said, I know better now than a few years ago. I’ll be alright, I’m going to survive this. It only takes time.
Thank you all,
XXX
Kym.
P.S.
Adam, ya, it could have been NY!.... well, if you know a prince for me… ??? ;)
At July 15, 2005 at 4:25:00 AM GMT+2, Kym. said…
P.P.S.
I went to see my dentist this week, but it was not because of my wisdom tooth.. it was only for a yearly check up (he found 2 holes, though... :( )
Kym.
At July 15, 2005 at 4:44:00 AM GMT+2, Luz said…
Finding me did not come without much heartache. In fact it came after hitting rock bottom. Took me two years to come out of my depression. Also, I started doing yoga and that has helped tremendously. It has helped me focus but sometimes I still get the winds knocked out of my sail.
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